1/28/16

Dear Diary, 

It's a sad sad sight, when even the dog is pacing around crying, everytime she hears a car. She was waiting on daddy to come home last night. I hope she doesn't do this every night. 

Davi kept asking when daddy was coming home. He was so worried about how daddy would get home without his car. I dont think he really gets how long David will be gone for. It's going to be a long 6 months if I have to keep explaining it to him.

I had to bring David his glasses to the boat this morning. I got a last minute called, I had to be there by 12:15. I sacrificed my shower before drop off to make sure he got his glasses. It was nice to see him again before he goes.. But it brought back the pit and the tears. One goodbye is enough. 

Kylan had a snowflake party at school today. I really need to stop going to these silly little things. Just do it in school, and send them home. oops.

Well. I am down about 5 pounds now.. only 25 more to go. If I can lose more than that, that's good too. I'd love to be a 0 again. Makes me not want to get pregnant, ever again. What do you do, when your heart wants another, but your body is all fuck that. I will have to stop taking my meds, and most herbal remedies arent safe for pregnancy either. Which really scares me. No meds + extra hormones, I may just hide in bed for 9 months.

-Meg