Dear Diary,
I just watched my other half walk away. He's gone for 6 months. That pit in my stomach has been replaced with emptiness. It felt so unfinished, just dropping him off and driving away. Did I tell him all that I needed to say. Did I remind him of everything that needed reminding? Do I know everything I need to know to function without him for 6 months? Who knows. Theres always something that comes up. I figure it out, or pay someone who does and move on. Im sad. The sadness will come and go. It always does. It doesn't get easier. It just gets pushed to the back of your mind. I get busy. I turn on autopilot..and zoom through life. I lose weight, because 6 months really isnt that long, and I need to be the hottest wife on the pier. I learn a new skill. The kids get bigger. Davi will be the one who is the most noticeable this go around. He will be 4 when Daddy gets back. Davi doesnt seem to even understand this process yet. The girls do. Fal is so sad.. She makes it 10x harder for me to shake my funk. She screamed for daddy as we drove away. I wish she knew it doesnt change him having to go.
I just watched my other half walk away. He's gone for 6 months. That pit in my stomach has been replaced with emptiness. It felt so unfinished, just dropping him off and driving away. Did I tell him all that I needed to say. Did I remind him of everything that needed reminding? Do I know everything I need to know to function without him for 6 months? Who knows. Theres always something that comes up. I figure it out, or pay someone who does and move on. Im sad. The sadness will come and go. It always does. It doesn't get easier. It just gets pushed to the back of your mind. I get busy. I turn on autopilot..and zoom through life. I lose weight, because 6 months really isnt that long, and I need to be the hottest wife on the pier. I learn a new skill. The kids get bigger. Davi will be the one who is the most noticeable this go around. He will be 4 when Daddy gets back. Davi doesnt seem to even understand this process yet. The girls do. Fal is so sad.. She makes it 10x harder for me to shake my funk. She screamed for daddy as we drove away. I wish she knew it doesnt change him having to go.
I didnt even know what else to say. Im babbling. Just get my thoughts down, so I can sleep tonight. I miss you Davy. I love you. I wish it was always easy for me to get my feelings out.. and that it didnt make me feel weird to talk about. <3
-Megan
Fally took this picture of daddy, so she wouldn't forget him.
No comments:
Post a Comment